A hardened heart

What is the depth of my wounds? Why don't I feel much anymore?

Even though I hear my heart beat, and yet I don't care.

Have I given up? Have I renounced what was once the reason and the cause?

From bad to worse, little by little I feel this desire, this craving, dying.

This flame, this happiness that animates and warms the soul.

A misunderstood sadness, a darkness and a coldness hidden

From a former life marked by innocence that I blame.

Tell me, have I changed that much? Have I suffered that much?

What is it like to feel everything so intensely?

When I know that the mind won't be able to follow the heart.

Why bet on the wrong hand? Why sacrifice so much?

What escape is there? What is left of me after this great fear?

At this point, being unrecognizable is literally the case.

Because having idealized what could have been, what should have been,

Has left no doubt about a reality that is entirely distorted.

How to resist? Not to let myself be overwhelmed, to remain master.

Even though something has broken inside of me,

What is there to do? Do I have to explain what words cannot?

Why does it hurt so much? Why this distress?

Am I lost forever? Or am I still in this river?